Side With Me, Kid
by Bedrock Armor
Summary: Bill Cipher sings a song in an attempt to convince Dipper to accept his deal. One-shot.


"Are you sure, Pine Tree?" Bill asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. There's no way I'm accepting your deal." Dipper replied.

"Well, in that case, I have prepared a little song to change your mind." Bill replied. Bill then materialized a piano out of midair and began playing on it. Dipper and Mabel just watched on in confusion as the scene played out in front of them.

"What's going on here?" Ford asked, overhearing the commotion and coming out to see.

"Bill's trying to get me to take a deal." Dipper explained. Suddenly, Bill made a saxophone materialize and begin to play itself. Ford joined the kids' confusion in seeing this.

"Bill." Ford mumbled. Dipper, Mabel, and Ford all just stood there for a few seconds before Bill began singing.

 _"Hey kid, I know you can hear me. Hey kid, I know you can see. Hey kid, things are 'bout to get crazy so just sit right there and you listen to me."_

"Why should I?" Dipper asked caustically.

"DON'T INTERRUPT THE SONG!" Bill said hotly.

"Okay, okay! I'll listen to the song." Dipper said, slightly frightened by Bill's outburst.

"Good. 'Cause I worked really hard on this song." Bill said, before going back to the piano and starting over.

 _"Hey kid, I know you can hear me. Hey kid, I know you can see. Hey kid, things are 'bout to get crazy so just sit right there and you listen to me. I've seen more than you can imagine. I've heard things to torture your soul. Join me and we'll both get ahead, kid. Shake my hand and then we'll both have it all. Don't let go of this opportunity. 'Cause there's no guarantee it'll last. What say you, little pal, have we got a deal? Haven't got all day, so you'd best think fast. Side with me, kid. I'll have your back. Count me in when confidence is all you lack. Price is simple; rather sparing. Time is slipping. Life is choices, let's start living!"_

"La la la, la la, la de da, la la la, do do da. La la la, la la, la de da, la la la, do do da."

"Mabel!" Dipper said, wondering why she was singing along.

"What? It's catchy!" Mabel said.

"See? Shooting Star's got it!" Bill said.

 _"You know you've always been different. They'll just drag you down, don't you see?_ _It's tough, but you've got to be brave. They're just dead weight. You gotta cut away to be free."_

"Hey!"

 _"You know that they'll try to deceive you. Your hunches were right from the start. You don't have to sit and play good boy; take a stand and tear this world all apart. Time draws short, so you've gotta make up your mind. I don't offer these things every day. Little tree; how big that you could grow up if you'll just say the word and you'll let me stay. Side with me, kid. I'll have your back. Count me in when confidence is all you lack. Price is simple; rather sparing. Time is slipping. Life is choices, let's start living!"_

"La la la, la la, la de da, la la la, do do da. La la la, la la, la de da, la la la, do do da."

"Seriously Mabel?" Dipper said.

"Come on, don't you like the song?" Mabel replied.

"Shooting Star appreciates the effort I put into it." Bill said. "Maybe you should, too."

"Well, it is a pretty catchy song." Ford said.

"There you go, Sixer!" Bill said.

"But Dipper's right, Mabel. You shouldn't sing along."

"But I like singing!" Mabel said.

"Fine." Dipper said.

"Thanks!"

 _"_ _Don't let go of this opportunity. 'Cause there's no guarantee it'll last. What say you, little pal, have we got a deal? Haven't got all day, so you'd best think fast._ _Side with me, kid. I'll have your back. Count me in when confidence is all you lack. Price is simple; rather sparing. Time is slipping. Life is choices, let's start living!"_

"La la la, la la, la de da, la la la, do do da. La la la, la la, la de da, la la la, do do, do do, la."

As Bill finished the song, he made the piano and the self-playing saxophone disappear, as Mabel began applauding. Dipper and Ford just sighed in slight annoyance.

"Thank you, thank you!" Bill said. "So, what do you say, Pine Tree? Is it a deal?"

"Uh, no."

* * *

 **Song Used: DeCIPHER by Madame Macabre.  
**


End file.
